


𝐷𝑢𝑠𝑘 𝑇𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐷𝑎𝑤𝑛 - 𝐷𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑔𝑒 𝐶𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛/𝐼𝑛𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑜𝑟

by PuddyGeeks



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Awkward, But we love him for it, Desire, F/M, Fluff, Lyrium, Romance, cullen is an awkward potato, recovering templar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuddyGeeks/pseuds/PuddyGeeks
Summary: 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝐶𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙, 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐼𝑛𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟. 𝐴𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑑𝑎𝑤𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟, ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford
Kudos: 11





	𝐷𝑢𝑠𝑘 𝑇𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐷𝑎𝑤𝑛 - 𝐷𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑔𝑒 𝐶𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛/𝐼𝑛𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑜𝑟

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first ever piece of writing from the perspective of an existing character, especially a male so cut me some slack whilst I experiment with this new venture. I also do not tend to write in the 3rd person, so this piece has been a learning curve for me. However, I felt hugely inspired to write a fluffy piece about my fluffy boy, so enjoy! Let me know if you’d like to see more DA based content from me in future.
> 
> My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: https://ko-fi.com/puddygeeks

Standing across the war table, hand placed comfortably on the hilt of his sword, Commander Cullen focused on remaining professional. Their fearless leader assigned missions and plotted political manoeuvres that would shape the very fabric of all the Kingdoms in Thedas. Despite being plucked from relative obscurity, she rose to this responsibility as if made for it and led the rapidly growing Inquisition with grace and wisdom. 

Without warning, her large, almond shaped eyes met his and he felt his very spirit stir at the subtle connection between them. Buried in the deep hue of her eyes, he could always sense some hidden power that was disguised by her petite frame and seemingly harmless appearance. He felt himself fidget on the spot, an involuntary movement that had escaped his carefully controlled façade and he noticed a slight smile lurking in the corners of her mouth. 

There was a hint of playfulness in the way that she viewed him, he thought, before she swept from the chamber, leaving it notably colder by her absence. Surely he must have been mistaken. She was an icon, a force of nature in the crumbling world and would never view him as anything more than her lieutenant.

“My, my, are you _blushing_ , Commander?” Leliana’s sickly sweet voice drifted from his side, tainting the drafty space with her sly implications. It was not the first time that suggestions of this nature had been made about him, but each time caused him to bristle with embarrassment in a manner that was entirely more revealing than intended. He made a sound that almost resembled a scoff at the absurdity of her statement, but it strangely combined with an awkward splutter that filled the bard’s usually pale face with a smug satisfaction. 

* * *

“I do believe you may be correct, Leliana. Our dearest Commander certainly does seem rather flustered. Why, I could not possibly suggest a cause for such a reaction.” Josephine taunted, her words coated in a barely concealed enthusiasm as she studied him over the top of her papers. Cullen cleared his throat in a joyless bid to regain some composure, as his colleagues gazed past him at each other with mischief gleaming in their eyes.

“Surely you both have other matters to attend to? Nobles to pamper, or spies to train?” He countered with a poignant lack of authority in his voice, as the women crossed their arms and met his suggestions with a blatant disdain.

The Inquisitor inspired courage and determination in the recruits, each viewing her as a symbol of hope and light in the darkness. For Cullen, however, she was a constant distraction and a trigger for his most regretful, tense behaviours. As time passed, he found that he was able to recognise traits within her that others were blinded to and he was stunned by the depth of her kindness towards him. 

Regardless of the shame that he felt when presenting his issues with addiction for her judgement, he was always met with understanding and compassion. These were new experiences for Cullen and the emotions that they provoked in him were completely unexplored territory.

On the battlements of Skyhold, he embarked on his regular stroll to examine and assess their sustainability when an unfamiliar sight caused him to pause in his tracks. Standing by the edge, staring out into the mountains with an intense impression was the Inquisitor, clearly deeply lost in thought. 

She didn’t seem to notice Cullen’s arrival, as her gloved hands gripped onto the stone wall and he identified that the usual strength that radiated from her was absent. In what she believed to be a solitary moment, her defences were lowered and she had allowed herself an opportunity to be vulnerable. Cullen felt awkward witnessing this, feeling the familiar sensation of invading upon a sacred space as he’d often experienced throughout his youth in the Chantry.

“Are you going to stand and stare all day, or would you prefer to join me, Commander?” 

His stomach churned as he words cut through the tense silence and she turned to glance at him over her shoulder with a gentle smile. He blanched at her casual offer, feeling pressure compressing his chest and she returned to her pondering, blissfully unaware of the nerves that her presence summoned in him.

“I apologise, my lady. It was not my intention to intrude, or to stare.” He managed to force the words out through the block in his throat, but as they left his mouth, he acknowledged the deeply ingrained formality in the way that he addressed her and she smiled fondly at nothing in particular. 

There was a stifling atmosphere as he realised that there was not another soul in sight and he inwardly scolded himself for not recognising the absence of guards earlier. He knew that they likely had already shifted their positions out of respect, to allow her a moment of peace and he felt embarrassed at his perceived social blunder.

“You’re not intruding. You don’t need to tiptoe around me, you know. I don’t bite.” She commented idly and Cullen tightened his grip on his sword in stress. 

The instances of flirtatious remarks were mounting, an overpowering suggestion in his already cluttered mind and each new addition increased his difficulty in denying their presence. They were an ever present force, haunting him at all hours of the day with their desire to be acknowledged. He pushed it away, desperately pleading with his heart to allow him to remain focused and appropriate, and she regarded him with an amused disbelief as he remained at his cautious distance.

“Do you ever just stop patrolling, or working, and allow yourself a few moments of peace? Our surroundings are idyllic. It’s wasteful not to appreciate them.” She urged, gesturing for him to join her and, unable to deny her request for a second time, he reluctantly marched over to her side with his legs feeling as heavy as led.

The view from the battlements was breath-taking, but it was difficult to fully realise it’s wonder beside the simple splendour of her beauty. She sighed wistfully, the pleasant sound causing a flutter in his stomach and he relished the circumstances that allowed him to witness her in a more relaxed state than he’d ever been entrusted with in the past. 

Surrounded by snowy mountains and without the usual bustle of demands pressing against them, the silence was no longer tense and Cullen allowed his shoulders to gradually lower into a comfortable slouch.

“We filled this empty shell with purpose and belief. The halls are bustling with people determined to bring change to our word and the courtyard has become a home to the faithful. Undeterred by all theories to the contrary, we’ve proven it possible to unite mages and templars against a common enemy, under a single, inclusive banner that fights for the freedom of all.” She detailed as she listed achievements that should have been filled with pride, but instead the words rang hollow and her tone remained lacklustre. Cullen was unnerved by her raw, unenthusiastic demeanour that existed in stark contrast to the invigorating personality that she displayed when under observation. 

“And yet, at the head of this mighty cause is a single elf, _Inquisitor_ Lavellan. Despite all of the titles, followers and respect, I am still merely a Dalish with a strange light imbued in my palm and missing memories that humans have interpreted as a symbol of divine intervention. Tell me, Commander Cullen, what certainty can you possess that I am worthy of such duty?” Lavellan turned to face him, her eyes alight with a storm of emotions that blazed from the inside and he was lost under the intensity of her doubt.

Words failed him as he floundered in search of an answer that could provide her with the peace that she so desperately desired. In his heart, he knew that his belief in her was greater than any other within this fortress, or indeed all Thedas itself. He knew that if he could allow himself to be honest, he would list all of the admirable qualities that he had long admired about the awe-worthy being before him, but his terror of unveiling the depth of his devotion prevented him from granting her with honesty. Instead, he beheld her with a barely concealed state of adoration and she sighed in disappointment.

“I’m sorry. I’ve posed a question that you couldn’t possibly answer. I suppose I should know better than to burden others with my own insecurities.” She excused, turning her face from him with an unsatisfied void in her eyes that would remain with him for as long as he lived. 

The cool, crisp air tore through the gaps in their defences, carrying the loose sections of her silver hair out behind her like wings and only exaggerated her appearance to him as some kind of ethereal being. As his gaze explored her features, he noticed that her nose and cheeks glowed in a delicate shade of pink that spread to the tips of her gracefully pointed ears and he wondered how long she had been standing here, allowing her exposed skin to grow cold. He ached to lighten her burden, to remove the knot that formed between her brows as she battled the responsibilities that threatened to crush her beneath their weight and against his better judgement, his answer began to flow freely from his lips.

“In all of my years as a templar, I have followed leaders of many different titles. Each of them possessed their own approach, their own qualities that influenced their choices and shaped their time in power. Never have I known any other to rise from the ashes as you have, nor for the people to elect them with such fervent belief.” He spoke with conviction and with every shred of reasoning, he observed her becoming increasingly humbled by his confession. 

“They follow you with unshakable faith, as do I, not because of your origins, your race or your rumoured holiness. They follow because of your decisions, because you lead with a grace and wisdom that comes from deep within and is unique to your formidable soul. You are the Inquisitor not because of the anchor that you wield, but because there is no other who could fulfil this duty as you have. You are indisputably, unfathomably, exceptionally more than ‘merely a Dalish’, Lady Lavellan.” He finished, allowing them to lapse into silence as she processed his words. 

Of course, Cullen knew her first name, but he wouldn’t dare to address her by it, believing that it disrespected her journey and consequent struggles to earn the title which she now held. Her eyes grew wide and it was clear that she was shocked by the passion of his words, whilst he waited in a terror ridden state, fearing that he had absolutely revealed too much.

“It is incomprehensible to me that you are capable of such earnest insight into others, whilst simultaneously believing yourself to be scarcely more than a failed ex-templar.” She surveyed him with a sympathetic, yet frustrated expression and as often would occur in her company, Cullen found himself lost for words. 

When under her gaze, he felt unworthy of the praise that she often bestowed upon him and could not fathom her unwavering faith in him. Even when he suggested that Cassandra replace him, Lavellan refused to allow him to relinquish his position and insisted that he could defeat his demons to abstain from the use of lyrium once and for all. There was no doubt in his mind that she made him a better person, but in spite of all his improvement, he still could not even begin to imagine himself as deserving of her fondness.

Lavellan turned from the wall to face him fully, closing the distance between them until she was nearer than he’d ever had cause to be. In such proximity, he could smell the natural scent of flowers and herbs on her skin, admired the sun that glinted in her eyes and his face flushed with a heat that exposed his exhilaration. 

For longer than he could ever truly admit, he had laid awake at night, imagining what a privilege it would be to touch her, but he would never be so bold as to attempt such a sin. Involuntarily, he gulped as she pouted her plump lips thoughtfully and his heart pounded with such intensity that he felt concerned that it could cease to function at any given moment. 

She leaned forward at a painfully gradual pace and had to shift her balance onto her toes in order to reach him. With ice tinted lips, she placed a single delicate kiss on his cheek, contrasting sharply with the burning of his skin. Instead of immediately moving away, she lingered there, her breath tickling his neck as her mouth brushed his ear.

“Your faith extinguishes my fear, unlike any other.” She whispered, her words burning into Cullen’s mind like a brand from an iron that could never be compromised. All of his senses seemed to be intensified, as he committed every minute detail to memory for fear that this experience may not occur more than once. When she leaned back into his field of vision, her features glowed with fondness and he simply gawped at her in amazement. 

“You put my heart at ease, Cullen. Thank you.” She admitted with a relaxed sigh and without a further word, or any indication that she would explain the meaning behind this statement, she parted from him. 

As Lavellan’s delicate steps echoed down the stone staircase, Cullen remained rooted to the spot, obsessively analysing the conversation and wondering if he’d perhaps misunderstood. Perhaps the mountain of comments in his mind that he’d long considered to be indulgent, self-delusion had accumulated into something more significant than he’d ever dared to imagine.


End file.
